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Best Geek Quotes

Ilias — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 14:30:12 +0000

There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t
If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0
I’m not anti-social; I’m just not user friendly
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features
Roses are #FF0000 , Violets are #0000FF , All my base belongs to you
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
Hand over the calculator, friends don’t let friends derive drunk
I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code
Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue…
The box said ‘Requires Windows 95 or better’. So I installed LINUX
A penny saved is 1.39 cents earned, if you consider income tax
Unix, DOS and Windows…the good, the bad and the ugly
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila

The code that is the hardest to debug is the code that you know cannot possibly be wrong
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity
Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny
C://dos
C://dos.run
run.dos.run
You know it’s love when you memorize her IP number to skip DNS overhead
JUST SHUT UP AND REBOOT!!
1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d
Alcohol & calculus don’t mix. Never drink & derive
How do I set a laser printer to stun?
There is only one satisfying way to boot a computer
Concept: On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape button
It’s not bogus, it’s an IBM standard
Be nice to the nerds, for all you know they might be the next Bill Gates!
The farther south you go, the more dollar stores there are
Beware of programmers that carry screwdrivers
The difference between e-mail and regular mail is that computers handle e-mail, and computers never decide to come to work one day and shoot all the other computers
If you want a language that tries to lock up all the sharp objects and fire-making implements, use Pascal or Ada: the Nerf languages, harmless fun for children of all ages, and they won’t mar the furniture
COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning
LISP = Lots of Irritating Silly Parentheses
The beginning of the programmer’s wisdom is understanding the difference between getting program to run and having a runnable program
Squash one bug, you’ll see ten new bugs popping
Everytime i time i touch my code, i give birth to ten new bugs
boast = blogging is open & amiable sharing of thoughts
We are sorry, but the number you have dialed is imaginary. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again
Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted
If it weren’t for C, we’d all be programming in BASI and OBO
Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner
Bad or corrupt header, go get a haircut
Unrecognized input, get out of the class
Warning! Buffer overflow, close the tumbler !
WinErr 547: LPT1 not found… Use backup… PENCIL & PAPER
Bad or missing mouse driver. Spank the cat? (Y/N)
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes
Best file compression around: “rm *.*” = 100% compression
Hackers in hollywood movies are phenomenal. All they need to do is “c:\> hack into fbi”
BREAKFAST.COM Halted…Cereal Port Not Responding
I survived an NT installation
The name is Baud……James Baud
My new car runs at 56Kbps
Why doesn’t DOS ever say “EXCELLENT command or filename!”
File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
Cannot read data, leech the next boy’s paper? (Y/N)
CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/n)?
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Helpdesk : Sir, you need to add 10GB space to your HD , Customer : Could you please tell where I can download that?
Windows: Just another pane in the glass
Who’s General Failure & why’s he reading my disk?
RAM disk is not an installation procedure
Shell to DOS…Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS…
The truth is out there…anybody got the URL?
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue…..
E-mail returned to sender — insufficient voltage
Help! I’m modeming… and I can’t hang up!!!
All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
Once I got this error on my Linux box: Error. Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue
Once I got this error on my Linux box: Error. Mouse not attached. Please left click the ‘OK’ button to continue
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit…
Press every key to continue
Helpdesk: Sir if you see the blue screen, press any key to continue. Customer : hm.. just a min.. where’s that ‘any key’..
Idiot, Go ahead, make my data!
Old programmers never die; they just give up their resources
To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so
(001) Logical Error CLINTON.SYS: Truth table missing
Clinton:/> READ | PARSE | WRITE | DUMP >> MONKIA.SYS
(D)inner not ready: (A)bort (R)etry (P)izza
Computers can never replace human stupidity
A typical Yahoo! inbox : Inbox(0), Junk(9855210)
(A)bort, (R)etry, (P)anic?
Bugs come in through open Windows
Penguins love cold, they wont survive the sun
Unix is user friendly…its just selective about who its friends are
Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity
Bell Labs Unix — Reach out and grep someone.
To err is human…to really foul up requires the root password.
Invalid password : Please enter the correct password to (Abort / Retry / Ignore )
FUBAR - where Geeks go for a drink
I degaussed my girlfriend and I’m just not attracted to her anymore
Scandisk : Found 2 bad sectors. Please enter a new HD to continue scanning
Black holes are where God divided by zero
Hey! It compiles! Ship it!
Thank god, my baby just compiled
Yes! My code compiled, and my wife just produced the output
Windows 98 supports real multitasking - it can boot and crash simultaneously
Zap! And there was the blue screen !
Please send all spam to my main address, root@localhost
MailerD(a)emon: You just received 9133547 spam. (O)pen all, (R)ead one by one, (C)heck for more spam
A: Can you teach me how to use a computer? B: No. I just fix the machines, I don’t use them
PayPal: Your funds have been frozen for 668974 days
1-800-404 : The subscriber you are trying to call does not exist
1-800-403 : Access to that subscriber was denied
Error message: “Out of paper on drive D:”
If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I’d antialias my graphics!
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
“Mr. Worf, scan that ship.” “Aye Captain. 300 dpi?”
Smith & Wesson: The Original Point And Click Interface
Shout onto a newsgroup : It echoes back flames and spam
Firewall : Intruder detected. (A)llow in (D)eactivate the firewall
Real programmers can write assembly code in any language
Warning! Perl script detected! (K)ill it , (D)eactivate it
Firewall : Do you want to place a motion detector on port 80 ?
Helpdesk: Sir, please refill your ink catridges Customer : Where can i download that?
All computers run at the same speed… with the power off
You have successfully logged in, Now press any key to log out
Sorry, the password you tried is already being used by Dorthy, please try something else.
Sorry, that username already exists. (O)verwrite it (C)ancel
Please send all flames, trolls, and complaints to /dev/toilet
Shut up, or i’ll flush you out
Cron : Enter cron command \ Now enter the number of minutes in an hour
We are experiencing system trouble — do not adjust your terminal
You have successfully hacked in, Welcome to the FBI mainframes.
I’m sorry, our software is perfect. The problem must be you
Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurling down the highway
Webhost livehelp: Sir you ran out of bandwidth, User: Where can I download that?
If Ruby is not and Perl is the answer, you don’t understand the question
Having soundcards is nice… having embedded sound in web pages is not
My computer was full, so I deleted everything on the right half
You have received a new mail which is 195537 hours old
Yahoo! Mail: Your email was sent successfully. The email will delivered in 4 days and 8 hours
I’m sorry for the double slash (Tim Berners-Lee in a Panel Discussion, WWW7, Brisbane, 1998)
Ah, young webmaster… java leads to shockwave. Shockwave leads to realaudio. And realaudio leads to suffering
What color do you want that database?
C++ is a write-only language, once can write programs in C++, but I can’t read any of them
As of next week, passwords will be entered in Morse code
earth is 98% full … please delete anyone you can
A typical yahoo chat room: “A has signed in, A has signed out, B has signed in, B has signed out, C has signed in, C has signed out..”
When someone says “I want a programming language in which I need only say what I wish done,” give him a lollipop
Warning! No processor found! Press any key to continue
Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with your Microsoft product
NT is the only OS that has caused me to beat a piece of hardware to death with my bare hands
Warning! Kernel crashed, Run for your lives !
NASA uses Windows? Oh great. If Apollo 13 went off course today the manual would just tell them to open the airlock, flush the astronauts out, and re-install new one
JavaScript: An authorizing language designed to make Netscape crash
How’s my programming? Call 1-800-DEV-NULL
Yes, friends and neighbors, boys and girls - my PC speaker crashed NT
root:> Sorry, you entered the wrong password, the correct password is ‘a_49qwXk’
New linux package released. Please install on /dev/null
Quake and uptime do not like each other
Unix…best if used before: Tue Jan 19 03:14:08 GMT 2038
As you well know, magic and weapons are prohibited inside the cafeteria — Final Fantasy VIII
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft…and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labo
Unix is the only virus with a command line interface
Windows 95 makes Unix look like an operating system
How are we supposed to hack your system if it’s always down!
God is real, unless declared integer
I’m tempted to buy the slashdot staff a grammar checker. What do they do for 40 hours a week?
Paypal : Please enter your credit card number to continue
It takes a million monkeys at typewriters to write Shakespeare, but only a dozen monkeys at computers to run Network Solutions
Please help - firewall burnt down - lost packet - reward $$$
If Linux were a beer, it would be shipped in open barrels so that anybody could piss in it before delivery
Thank you Mario! But our princess is in another castle
Perl, the only language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption
Norton: Incoming virus - (D)ownload and save (R)un after download
I had a dream… and there were 1’s and 0’s everywhere, and I think I saw a 2!
You sir, are an unknown USB device driver
C isn’t that hard: void (*(*f[])())() defines f as an array of unspecified size, of pointers to functions that return pointers to functions that return void

Webatlantis needs a Theme..

Ilias — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 09:21:01 +0000

I ‘ve been thinking lately that Webatlantis needs a new theme.. Although I was never interested in great blog designs and effects, suddently I find this blog design too boring. So, If you have any suggetion to make.. please drop a comment here..

How to Build an SMS Notification App

Ilias — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 16:47:38 +0000

Everybody’s talking about how mobile devices are key to the web’s future. It’s easy to see we’re headed in that direction, as iPhones and other devices are squishing real web browsers onto our tiny, pocket-sized screens.

What about everybody on slightly less cutting edge devices? Or, even iPhone owners with slow connections that want access to specific data quickly? The answer is the SMS app, which is now accessible to the average web developer.

Build an SMS Notification App

Greek Hackers attack CERN

Ilias — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 08:51:38 +0000

Image via Wikipedia

As the first particles were circulating in the machine near Geneva, a Greek group had hacked into the facility and displayed a page with the headline “GST: Greek Security Team.”

The people responsible signed off: “We are 2600 - dont mess with us. (sic)”

The website - cmsmon.cern.ch - can no longer be accessed by the public as a result of the attack.

Scientists working at Cern, the organisation that runs the vast smasher, were worried about what the hackers could do because they were “one step away” from the computer control system of one of the huge detectors of the machine, a vast magnet that weighs 12,500 tons, measuring around 21 metres in length and 15 metres wide/high.

If they had hacked into a second computer network, they could have turned off parts of the vast detector and, said the insider, “it is hard enough to make these things work if no one is messing with it.”

Fortunately, only one file was damaged but one of the scientists firing off emails as the CMS team fought off the hackers said it was a “scary experience”.

The hackers targeted the Compact Muon Solenoid Experiment, or CMS, one of the four “eyes” of the facility that will be analysing the fallout of the Big Bang.

The CMS team of around 2,000 scientists is racing with another team that runs the Atlas detector, also at Cern, to find the Higgs particle, one that is responsible for mass.

The message in Greek that the hackers displayed.

Read the full article..

Photos: NASA’s top 10 views of Earth

Ilias — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 22:23:21 +0000

An eruption of Cleveland Volcano in the Aleutian Islands, Alaska, which lasted only hours, was captured by an Expedition 13 crew member in 2006.

To celebrate the beauty of our planet on Earth Day, NASA released its 10 favorite photos taken by astronauts on the International Space Station.

The Rich History of Venice, Italy

Ilias — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 09:12:29 +0000

Venice, Italy is a rich and interesting city with a lot of history and a lot to offer to visitors. It is perhaps most recognizable for the canals that provide the main form of transportation throughout the city. If you are making a trip to Italy, then you should definitely put aside some time to visit Venice. It’s a rewarding experience.
Venice is thought to have been established over 2000 years ago, when waves of barbarians drove people out of their homes in various Roman cities. They immigrated south and established homes in the area now known as Venice. As with any city, over the years it changed hands numerous times, and the main occupants were repeatedly driven out and replaced by new ones. Around years 800-1100 AD, Venice underwent a period of growth, and became more centralized. It gradually developed into a city state, which is essentially a self-governed region of a country that trades freely among others.

As Venice became a prominent player in the sea trade of the time, it was set upon by many different threats. Pirates became a huge problem. Fewer and fewer shipments were making it through the treacherous water. This is when the Republic of Venice decided to move their operations to the eastern shores. This allowed it to stay in the game and develop its economy even further.

When you think of Venice, the first thing that comes to mind are the canals, which are considered the trademark of the city. The city was originally built on giant wood piles. The piles have been underwater for hundreds of years, but the modern buildings still rest on them. It is common knowledge now that Venice is gradually sinking into the water, or at least was for some period of time. In some houses, the original first floors are already submerged. When this happened, homeowners simply boarded up that section of the house and moved upstairs.

When you visit Venice, you can feel a rich aura of its history and culture. Floating through the canals for an afternoon makes for a memorable experience, and it’s one that any traveler should enjoy. So plan your trip to Venice today, and witness it for yourself!

Myths about food explained

Ilias — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 19:21:16 +0000

When it comes to myths, food and sex are the ones that have the most. I think this is because these are two things that we have to do in life. We have to have sex or we don’t reproduce. We have to eat or we will die. There isn’t much choice when it comes to food. Here we will discuss more of the food myths. Bookmark this article, because you are bound to learn something new. Our food supply isn’t as safe as it used to be. All you need to do is pick up a newspaper and see that for yourself. It seems that somewhere there is always someone getting sick from ecoli or some other food born illness.

Are preservatives bad for you?

No, they aren’t. If anything they are what keeps you from getting sick. If it weren’t for these, many more people would get sick and die from the food they eat.

Can coffee cure a hang over?

No it can’t. Caffeine can’t cure a hang over. You get hung over because you are lacking water. The alcohol took a big chunk of the water from your system. Caffeine actually makes you urinate. So really it has the opposite effect.

Is it okay to eat fast?

The less that you chew your food, that means the more your stomach will have to work to digest your food. You have teeth with many different uses. Some are for cutting and some are for grinding. You should make the most out of them. This is why it is important that you take good care of your teeth.

Do beans cause gas?

Yes they do. They are high in fiber. A lot of things that are high in fiber actually cause gas. Also, things like corn and peppers also cause gas. Soaking beans before you cook them can take away some of the gas, but it won’t take all of it.

Do carrots improve your eye sight?

No, they don’t. Do do however, make your eyes healthy. That may sound like it contradicts its self, but it doesn’t. They don’t improve your eyesight, but they do help you maintain your current ability to see.

Can swallowing gum cause stomach problems?

It can cause gas, abdominal pain, and diarrhea. If you are chewing gum that has sorbitol, that could be causing problems too. Oddly enough, this is also found in semen.

Do cherries relieve pain?

The answer is yes. People who eat at least 20 tart cherries a day have a reduction in pain from arthritis.

Does parsley take away bad breath?

Yes it does. So does other green leafy veggies that contain chlorophyll.

Does an apple a day keep the doctor away?

Yes it does. There are many good things about apples. They help reduce the risk of cancer. They also help lower cholesterol. Who says that old sayings aren’t true?

As will all things, take myths with a grain of salt. If you are curious about a myth, do some research on it. You will be surprised at how much information you will learn.

A Guide To Online Classifieds - Deal or Steal ?

Ilias — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 02:02:57 +0000

Image via Wikipedia

Some naysayers way back in the 1990s predicted that online shopping wouldn’t last. Sure, and they said television was a passing fad, too! As we all know, just the opposite has occurred. There’s a television in every household, and more than likely, the homeowner bought their television online-along with his books, music CDs, clothes, and maybe even his home.

Internet shopping is bigger than ever. You can find anything and everything for sale online. Many times, you can find it cheaper online than anywhere else. Internet shopping offers so much more than a discounted price tag, though.

Imagine a shopping mall where there are no lines, where there are no jammed parking garages, and no pushy sales clerks. This is no land of make believe. It is the Internet, where you can discover unprecedented selection, convenience, and opportunities. Online shopping gives you the luxury of browsing hundreds of stores from your living room, while saving on time and frustration. It provides you the chance to compare prices to your heart’s delight on a near limitless selection of brands and models.

For even more benefits, try your hand at classifieds and auction Web sites. These sites are like yard sales and flea markets rolled into one. Unlike retail shopping sites, they offer:

Access to super secondary markets. Take your pick of secondhand or brand-new wholesale goods at steeply discounted prices. The vendors at classifieds sites can get away with it because they aren’t paying high rent for a storefront or a warehouse. And in many cases, you’re not paying taxes.

Tools to locate unique and rare collectibles. Imagine a classifieds site to be like a sunken pirate boat, laden with cultural artifacts, hard-to-find heirlooms, and priceless antiques. The Internet is your deep-sea vessel, sonar, and oxygen tank all in one.

Reach beyond your neighborhood. Search through the inventory of a vendor from your home town, or if you don’t find what you’re looking for there, try that fellow in California, Texas or Canada for that matter.

Close relationships with vendors. You deal with real people-not big, impersonal corporations-when you buy on classifieds sites. They can provide more details about the product, which you can then use to bargain for a reasonable price.

Despite this bounty of benefits, you might still be hesitant to dive into Internet shopping. Don’t be embarrassed. You have good reason to take your time and weigh your choices. According to the U.S. Federal Trade Commission, Internet fraud tops the list of the thousands of fraud cases that happen every year. In some ways, WWW could stand for the Wild West Web, in that anything goes. Vendors can be villains in disguise, and there aren’t any online Wyatt Earps to protect you from these bad guys. You’re on your own.

But give yourself some credit. You have the common sense it takes to survive the WWW. It is the same commonsense that helps you make the most of your money on your standard shopping trips. Become familiar and comfortable with an online vendor before jumping into a purchase. Ask questions and do a bit of research.

After doing your research, you’ll feel more confident in searching for your online booty. To refine your findings and whittle your list to only the exceptional sites, look for these additional qualities:

A focus on local shopping, so you can feel more confident buying from neighbors.
Free education and advice on safe purchasing.
No-cost and easy browsing through available merchandise.
Search tools that let you prioritize items by category, location, and distance.
A straightforward pricing system that avoids the haggling and risk of auction bidding.
Quick price comparisons among different vendors.

Unbelievably, a few trustworthy, practical, and exciting Web sites exist that have all of these features. To find these websites, simply browse through Yahoo’s directory under the classifieds category. The best of the online classified sites offer these services free to buyers such as you. Some of these sites can link you at no charge to your neighbor selling the antique lamp that you’ve been hunting for or that retiree looking to unload an incredible piece of real estate-or the cowboy looking to sell his big-screen television.

Rainlendar - A customizable desktop calendar

Ilias — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 00:14:37 +0000

Rainlendar is a customizable calendar that displays the current month. It is a very lightweight application that doesn’t use much system resources or take much space on your desktop.

Small and lightweight
Different type events can have different appearence
Supports Windows transparency
Synchronizes events between several clients
Localized for multiple languages
Shows an alarm when an event is due
Supports iCal files.
Shows Outlook’s appointments
Includes a todo-list
Works also as Litestep plugin
Displays the current date in tray icon
Can stick to the desktop (i.e. doesn’t hide with Show Desktop)
Hotkeys for quick access
Easy skinning with an UI

Version 2 adds Outlook and network calendar support.

Download The Latest Version via FileHippo
3.92MB

The Budget – The Ultimate Financial Management Tool

Ilias — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 09:37:02 +0000

Image via Wikipedia

A carpenter uses a set of house plans to build a house. If he didn’t the bathroom might get overlooked altogether.

Rocket Scientists would never begin construction on a new booster rocket without a detailed set of design specifications. Yet most of us go blindly out into the world without an inkling of an idea about finances and without any plan at all.

Not very smart of us, is it?

A money plan is called a budget and it is crucial to get us to our desired financial goals.

Without a plan we will drift without direction and end up marooned on a distant financial reef.

If you have a spouse or a significant other, you should make this budget together. Sit down and figure out what your joint financial goals are…long term and short term.

Then plan your route to get to those goals. Every journey begins with one step and the first step to attaining your goals is to make a realistic budget that both of you can live with.

A budget should never be a financial starvation diet. That won’t work for the long haul. Make reasonable allocations for food, clothing, shelter, utilities and insurance and set aside a reasonable amount for entertainment and the occasional luxury item. Savings should always come first before any spending.

Even a small amount saved will help you reach your long term and short term financial goals. You can find many budget forms on the internet. Just use any search engine you choose and type in “free budget forms”.

You’ll get lots of hits. Print one out and work on it with your spouse or significant other. Both of you will need to be happy with the final result and feel like it’s something you can stick to.